Try, Try Again…

Boy has my life been a roller coaster this past month!  From personal to family crisis to holidays and then trying to put it all back together… Whhheeeewwww… I’m tired!

I have most definitely put my health and fitness goals on the back burner… but now as life is beginning to return to normal… I find myself ready to try, try again!  I NEED to do this! I need to reach this goal and find my sense of discipline and determination. I need to accomplish this… For Me! I need to see my strength and character and spirit in a tangible way.  I NEED THIS!

There are no more Do Overs… no more starting tomorrows or next weeks… No More!  I have 84 days laid out in front of me… 84 days. What I do with them is my choice.  There is no starting over. The choices I make… each choice I make… during these next 84 days determines my outcome… my success or failure in this challenge.  So that is what I must keep in mind as I begin this journey… infact I think I’ll write that down and place it on my fridge.

“This moment… What I choose to do in this moment… Determines whether I’m a Champion… Or just another competitor” 

This phrase is one I came up with last year… and it got me through many a tough workout.  I wish I had held onto it. It is powerful to me… It makes me want to fight for what I want!

I want to be a Champion!

I Am Renewed!

It has been exactly one week since I began my experiment with Intermittent Fasting…. I Feel Fantastic!!!

I’m shocked and amazed at the change in my body and my mind in one week’s time!  The first 2 days were difficult… I won’t lie.  As my body cleared out the starch and junk and my appetite adjusted I was hungry… mostly mentally… like “it’s time to eat… I need to eat” .   After those first 2 days though… wow the difference!  My cravings are Gone! My appetite is Gone!  My mood swings are Gone! My energy slumps are Gone!  I feel amazing! 

My energy level is so high and so consistent all day long… My mind is clear and focused… I have ZERO cravings!  I was not expecting such dramatic results… I really wasn’t.  Oh…. and I’ve lost almost 7lbs this week! Yep!  It’s as though my body finally found the way that it’s suppose to function. 

The way I am using this plan is by making my eating window from 3pm to 7pm and I eat LOTS of clean protein, some veggies and fat.  I don’t eat starchy carbs because I know the effect they have on me and eating this way I’m not craving them at all… so why bother!   The difficult part is making sure to take in the right amount of protein… twice this week I’ve simply eaten almost a whole rotisserie chicken during my window… LOTS of clean, easy protein.  Fat is also very important when you’re eating lower carb… so most of the time as dessert I’ll have a big spoon full of natural peanut butter with a yummy cup of coffee! Yuuuummmmm… it makes me all warm of fuzzy just thinking about it!

What I’m finding though is that I’m not taking in an adequate amount of veggies… I’ll eat a serving or two each day… but I think I need more.  I’m considering getting one of the Super Green type powders from GNC.  That should help make up for what I’m lacking. 

Even though this week has been so very difficult emotionally and mentally… I feel like eating this way has helped me through it… it’s helped me feel like me again!

I’m a Survivor…

You know… I don’t know how much heartache a person is suppose to take before they break…  I guess it really depends on the person.  But I can tell you that I felt I might have reached my limit this week… I really almost came completely apart.  I got to that place this week where the pain is so intense that you think  it will surely kill you… but it doesn’t… and eventually the moment passes… and once again you can breathe.  

Earlier today… I was in that weak place… that desperate, sobbing place.  But here I am now… calmer and with a much clearer mind… and breathing.  I’ve realized that for whatever reason… and thank God for it… I’m a survivor.  I can be torn apart and beaten up and broken down…. but it doesn’t take very long before I’m right back on my feet… STRONGER than I was before…. and ready to fight. 

Thank you God for a resilient spirit, an open heart and a clear mind!  I prayed for truth and truth is what I got… now it’s up to me to find my strength and courage to go on.

It’s Gonna Be a Tough Day…

I’m anxious about this day… I’ve been dreading this day for quite some time… and procrastinating like crazy!   But today is the day that I must clean out the garage and put up shelves and make space for the things in our life that need to be stored…. so what’s the big deal you ask? Why does that have to be so bad?  Because today I have to come face to face and deal with all the things that belonged to my husband and baby.  I have to go through each box and decide what to keep and what not to keep.  Dear God…. Give Me Strength!  

I’ve put off dealing with any of this for a year and a half… but the time has come… and unfortunately I’m the only one who can do this job. Oh how I wish I could hire someone to do it for me… but I have to be the one to see and touch each piece and decide if it is or will be important for either me or Emma later on.  There are many things of her daddy’s that I’m sure will mean a lot in the coming years… and I need to make sure that they are put aside and preserved and taken care of for her.  Again…. Dear God… Give Me Strength for this day!

Doe anyone have a Valium

Ah, The Joys of IF….

I am SO glad that I listened to my body and really put the time and thought into how my body reacts and what nutrition program would best fit my habits and lifestyle!  I think so often, at least for me and the people I know, we try so hard to conform to a regimen that just doesn’t fit… it doesn’t mesh with our habits and lifestyle and therefore becomes more and more difficult to adhere to… ultimately leading us to fall away and feel like failures for not “sticking to the plan”.   

This time… I listened to my gut… I listened to my body.  I feel better when I don’t eat starchy carbs… processed carbs.  I’ve also found it increasingly difficult to eat anything in the morning, and found it nearly darned impossible to find the time, energy and will to prepare and eat 6 times a day.  Now understand, I believe that a clean diet and small meals 5-6 times a day is a fantastic approach… it revs the metabolism and leaves most people satisfied and feeling good.  But for me… it just wasn’t fitting… I kept trying and trying to force that round peg through the square hole… lol… it just wasn’t working. 

But THIS… this works for me!  I learned years ago about an approach to sports nutrition called Intermittent Fasting.  Now there are several approaches… including on and off 24 hour fasts, but the specific approach I have chosen is to fast most of the day and eat within a given “window” of time each day.   My window at the moment is from 3pm to about 7 pm. Which means, From 7pm tonight until 3pm tomorrow… I will fast, taking in only calorie free liquids (a little cream in my coffee if I have any) and that’s it… then at 3pm my eating window opens and I have my first meal and can eat up until 7pm.  Now I have personally chosen to eat fairly low carb… I just feel better doing that… plus it allows me to up the fat content in my foods making it easier to fulfill my calorie needs within the restricted time window.   I also must be sure to take in the right amount of protein.  which for me is roughly 100g of protein, about 1g per lb of LEAN body mass… no sense in feeding the fat… only feed the muscles!

My energy has been fantastic! And I felt so much more mental clarity today then I have in a VERY long time!  And best of all… no bloat, no sugar cravings and no ravenous appetite brought on by that vicious refined carb/insulin crash cycle!

The benefits of IF are many… and I’ll expound on them at a later date… for now I’m off to bed to rest my body and prepare for a high-energy, heavy work day tomorrow!

Feeling Ready….

After much thought and consideration… and many more days of eating un-clean…. I have concluded that I do indeed have the discipline and determination to make the changes I need to make.   I’ve continued to eat whatever I wish and watched closely how I feel, physically, emotionally, mentally…. it was NOT a pretty experiment.  I feel AWFUL!!!

I have been so very off balance emotionally and mentally… not crazy off balance… just emotional and mentally cloudy.  I’ve had a difficult time focusing… on anything really… I just sort of wander around aimlessly,  and my emotions are up and down, up and down.  I’ve been forgetful and lethargic… VERY lethargic. I’m exhausted all the time… napping almost every afternoon because I just can’t keep my eyes open.  I feel like I’m holding a ton of water… and yet feel dehydrated at the same time. UGH!

So, I had to take a look back… a look back at last year when I was making true progress and feeling great.  The one things that has always worked for balancing my hormones and my energy levels is cutting out all refined carbs… all those icky, over-processed, carb laden foods that spike my insulin and leave me sick and exhausted  It’s only been a couple of days and can I tell you…. I already feel the difference! 

My plan is to eventually also incorporate Intermittent Fasting… but I need a few days of straight low carb to get my hormones and hunger level balanced out before I do.  Nothing sends me into a feeding frenzy like starchy, sugary foods… I just keep going back for more… and I’m always hungry. Yet when I eat lean protein, veggies, fat and a bit a fruit… I feel satisfied… Yes… I feel satisfied!!!

Still Lost In Thought….

That question that I posed to myself last night has really stuck with me.  It keeps turning over in my head… Do I Have What It Takes To Live A Disciplined Lifestyle?   I kept looking deeper at the question and at my life and realized that I show very little discipline in any area of my life.  From my home to my personal and family life… I simply do what I feel and take the path of least resistance… living reactively instead of proactively.  And while it’s a nice life… very little stress and lots of warm fuzzies… it’s a life that is becoming stagnant.   Please don’t misunderstand… I love my life… I only have and do the things that I love… I live with passion and happiness in mind always. But I’m now in a place of no forward movement.   I’m not striving or achieving or conquering or… becoming…

I want to Become something more than I am right now.  Isn’t that what we should all strive for?   

I think that I’ve figured out what the bottom line of it all is for me…. it’s about living with Intention. Being mindful of the things that I truly want and being proactive in making them happen, and also forcing myself into those uncomfortable places now and then in order to move forward. 

If I want to lose fat… taking the easy path to the drive thru is not an option.  If I want to be super fit… choosing shopping or dinner with friends over the gym is not an option.  If I want a cushy bank account… over-spending is not an option.  Stuff does not simply happen…  there is always a choice attached… and an outcome based on that choice. 

So, the question has now become…. am I content enough, satisfied enough.. to continue on my current path… or do I really want More?  With More comes… more work, more thought, more intention, more action…. Do I really want More?

Do I Have What It Takes???

As I sat here in my kitchen this evening… reading through various posts on a popular figure athlete forum… I began to feel a bit contemplative.  Looking back over my former successes… and wanting so much to reach higher, farther,deeper into myself than I ever have… and finally reach my ultimate goal.  Yet, I find myself giving up… and not so much consciously giving up… as simply letting go of my goals, dreams and desires… in lieu of whatever seems tempting, enjoyable or easy in the moment.   I find that I’m always sort of drifting… moving with the flow… mellow and happy… but drifting none the less.  And so, as I write this I wonder… Do I have what it takes? Do I even have the drive and ambition necessary to reach my goals?  Can I grab hold of the oars and begin moving with direction and purpose… instead of simply drifting?

Do I really have what it takes to live in a disciplined and conscious way??  Tonight I will go to sleep with that thought, as  I think this is something I need to give serious consideration.  It would be easy to pep talk myself into momentary motivation… but I”m looking for something deeper… a part of myself that can carry me through inspiration and planning and into consistency and action.

My 7 Day Meal Plan

I’ve had friends ask what EXACTLY I eat… and why.   This is a sample of what I’ll be eating for the next 7 days as I follow the cleanse and start hitting the gym a bit harder.  My workouts have been hit or miss according to how busy my days have been, but I’m just going to have to start planning my days around my workouts instead. 

My nutrition is very, very basic… and for some people… very boring. Some people just like lots of variety in their daily meals, but I’ve found that for me I do much better and stay on track much easier if I keep it simple and eat roughly the same things each day.   It is a rotating menu based on my workouts for the day.  If I”m lifting weights my diet is slightly higher in carbs… on my non-lifting days it’s lower.   Not only does this rotation give me the energy I need for my workouts but it also keeps my body from plateauing, and the small frequent meals keep my metabolism in overdrive. 

So here it is:

Lifting Days:

Meal 1  (6am):   1c Low Carb Milk, 1 scoop Protein Powder

Meal 2  (8am):   Post Workout – 1/2c Oats w/1/2 scoop Cinnamon PP

Meal 3 (10am):  2oz Cabot Reduced Fat Cheese

Meal 4 (12pm): 3c Mixed Greens, 4oz Grilled Chicken, Dried Cranberries, Chopped Pecans & Homemade Vinaigrette

Meal 5   (3pm):  1c Coffee w/ 1/2 an Apple w/1T Natural Peanut Butter

Meal 6   (6pm):  Dinner Meal Varies

Meal 7   (9pm):  1/2c  Low Fat Cottage Cheese

 

Non-Lifting Days:

Meal 1  (6am):  4 Boiled Eggs (only 1 Yolk) w/ Coffee

Meal 2  (9am):  Boar’s Head Deli Chicken Rolled Up w/ Thin Sliced Havarti and Spicy Mustard

Meal 3 (12pm): Grilled Chicken Salad w/ Homemade Vinaigrette

Meal 4  (3pm): (pre-cardio shake)  8oz Low Carb Milk, 1 scoop Protein Powder, 1/2c Frozen Fruit…  Blended

Meal 5  (6pm): Dinner Meal Varies

Meal 6  (9pm): 1/2c  Low Fat Cottage Cheese  

I usually always keep some cooked veggies in the fridge too, like sauteed green beans or okra… maybe onions and peppers… so that if I’m really hungry I can grab those and eat them with one of my smaller meals or in between meals.   Also, of utmost importance, is WATER!  I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it…. you have to drink  water to lose the fat! You have to be hydrated!  So drink up!

I’m doing a cleanse… ick!

I decided that after ingesting so much yucky and toxic crap over the last several months that it might be a good idea to do a cleanse.  Now whether or not these overpriced boxes of “magically” cleansing ingredients actually work is left to be seen.  I have friends who swear by them… I’m not so sure… but I’m gonna give it a shot!

I went to my local GNC and used my little 20% of member card and got the Be-Cleansed Complete Detox Kit.  It comes with 4 bottles of dark green liquid… eeeewwwww… and 7 packets of  capsules.   The dark green liquid is to be mixed with 4oz of water an sipped slowly… 2 a day for the first 2 days… and I’m to take 1 packet of capsules daily.   Frankly the liquid is very, very sweet tasting and I think I would do better sipping it straight rather than mixing it with water which is what I will do with the remainder of the bottles.  

There is also a little diet plan you are suppose to follow that I have no intention of following…  I can do without the rice cakes thank you very much… I will be sticking to my oringinal plan of protein, fruits and veggies!  My next post will have my meal plan for the next 7 days so everyone can see what I’m doing as this week plays out.   Now I’m off to drink my thick green liquid…

So cheers and down the hatch!